Nowhere to Go by Sparaboom - Transcript

Page 1 of "NOWHERE TO GO!" By Sparaboom

Panel 1: A man in a space suit is hiding behind foliage on an alien planet.  Scary creatures are searching for the man and stand between him and his rocket ship

Narrator intro:

"Hello? hello?" 

This is Dr. Tommy Nez, science officer on the Amazin’ Prime 1 Space Explorer!

I may not be able to get back to my ship, so i have only minutes to tell you what’s happened!

Listen carefully!"

Panel 2: Cut to Dr Nez doing archaeology in the desert, on his mobile phone in front of a panel of rock art.

Narrator: "Just 4 weeks ago, I was in the Mojave desert researching the cosmic symbology of ancient petroglyphs when I received an urgent text!"

Panel 3: Close up of mobile phone text.

Narrator: "Josh Zebos, tech billionaire and CEO of Amazin’ Inc, wanted me on his upcoming space mission!"

Text message on phone: "Dr. Nez, We need your anthropology skills on our voyage to another planet.  Can you join us?  Best, Zebos."

Page 2 of "NOWHERE TO GO!" By Sparaboom

Panel 1: Cut to Dr Nez in a lab at Berkeley.

Narrator: "Though skeptical of Zebos’s plan, if I was ever going to get that cushy research gig at Berkeley I had to jump at this opportunity!"

Panel 2: Cut to an airplane landing in Seattle, WA, where in front of the Space Needle is a gigantic rocket ship.

Narrator: "Flying into Seattle that night, I first spotted the gleaming Amazin’ Prime 1 Space Explorer!

Panel 3: Now dressed in a casual space suit, Dr Nez enters the space ship.  In the captain's chair, a distracted Admiral Zebos gives a thumbs up while talking on a headset.

Narrator: "The crew was small: Amazin’ CEO Zebos was self-proclaimed space admiral!"

Panel 4: Cut to a shooting range on the rocket ship.  A woman in uniform is shooting a laser gun at a target.  She looks over her shoulder at Dr Nez.

Narrator: "Jayne “Tuskie” Grant, ex-top gun fighter pilot, was flight captain and security officer!"

Tuskie: "Great to have you on the team, doc!"

Panel 5: Cut to Dr Nez standing next to another female crew member who's taking a selfie photo of them.

Narrator: "And social media influencer Serena Salinas-Smith directed our PR!"

Panel 6: The whole crew is now sitting at their stations, awaiting take off.

Narrator: "After a brief orientation, we were all strapped in!"

Zebos: "Engage!"

Page 3 of "NOWHERE TO GO!" By Sparaboom

Panel 1:  The rocket ship takes off leaving Seattle in the distance.

Sound Effect: "5! 4! 3! 2! 1! Lift off!"

Panel 2: Dr Nez looking out the window as Earth gets smaller and smaller...

Narrator: "Earth got very small, very quick!"

Panel 3: Rocket ship deploys a massive satellite with the word AMAZIN' glowing towards Earth.

Narrator: "First, Zebos deployed an orbiting billboard!"

Panel 4:  Tuskie piloting the ship while looking at a radar screen. 

Narrator: "Next, Tuskie deftly navigated the ship through the Tesla Trash Field!"

Panel 5: Close-up of Tuskie's hand revving the throttle.

Narrator: "Then she hit the gas!"

Panel 6: The rocket ship being stretched and warped as it enters light speed.

Narrator: "Accelerating into triple light speed was terrifying! Space and time started to warp and the ship felt like it was getting ripped apart!"

Page 4 of "NOWHERE TO GO!" By Sparaboom

Panel 1: Closeup of Dr Nez's face also warping in light speed.

Narrator: "We shot through our solar system and rocketed across the galaxy! Einstein would’ve been blown away!"

Panel 2: Tuskie looking at a glowing planet onscreen.

Narrator: "In minutes, we were 5 light years from earth and approaching our target, the class m planet Lithiuma 7!"

Panel 3: The whole crew huddled around the screen looking at the planet getting closer.

Narrator:  "I then realized that Zebos had multiple objectives!"

Dr Nez: "My geo-readings show the planet is all Lithium! And there might be life!"

Zebos: "Ha! I knew it! Mining here will be worth a fortune!"

Serena: "What if we see aliens?"

Panel 4:  Closeup of Zebos with a smug smile.

Zebos: "No problem! There are always lots of low-entry jobs at Amazin’!"

Panel 5: The rocket ship is now descending towards the planet's surface.

Narrator: "Tuskie piloted the ship towards an opening in the lush canopy below!

Page 5 of "NOWHERE TO GO!" By Sparaboom

Panel 1:  The rocket ship landing in an opening between some palm tress, simmering volcanoes in far on the horizon.

Narrator: "She flipped on the reverse retro-thrusters and the Amazin’ prime 1 space explorer landed gently!"

Panel 2:  Inside the ship, Dr Nez and Zebos opening the hatch.

Dr Nez: "Incredible! The atmosphere is safe! we won’t need our oxygen helmets!"

Zebos: "Let's go!"

Panel 3:  Hatch opens and Dr Nez smells the air

Narrator: "Zebos opened the hatch! instantly our musty ship was filled with the intoxicating, wondrous aroma of..."

Panel 4: Admiral Zebos steps out of the hatch into a lush landscape.

Narrator: "FLOWERS! Lithiuma 7 was a botanical wonderland!"

Panel 5: Zebos steps down the ladder and onto the flower-covered surface.

Zebos: "One small step for me! One giant step for Amazin’ inc!"

Page 6 of "NOWHERE TO GO!" By Sparaboom

Panel 1:  As a conquering hero, Zebos sticks the Amazin flag into the surface while Serena films it on her phone.

Narrator: "While Zebos and Serena documented history..."

Panel 2: Tuskie and Dr Nez checking out the planet surface

Narrator: "... Tuskie and I investigated the mysterious planet!"

Panel 3:  Close up of the flowers covering the planet

Narrator: "And, indeed! Behind the beautiful flowers, the surface was 100% Lithium!"

Panel 4:  close up of an extactic Zebos

Zebos: "I’ll make gazillions!"

Panel 5: A startled Tuskie looking behind her.

Narrator: "Suddenly, Tuskie sensed movement!"

Panel 6: The crew suddenly sees small, long-snouted aliens cautiously approaching!

Narrator: "We were not alone!"

Aliens: "Waku haku? Waku haku?"

Page 7 of "NOWHERE TO GO!" By Sparaboom

Panel 1:  The aliens get close to inspect and sniff the crew

Narrator: "The creatures approached cautiously... An advanced olfactory organ seemed to be their primary sense! Thankfully, they were as thrilled to find us as we were to find them!"

Aliens: "Waku haku? Waku haku?"

Serena" "They're so cute!"

Panel 2: Dr Nez pulling out his hand-held translation device.

Narrator: "I started my translator app! Hopefully, it would soon decipher their language so we could communicate!"

Aliens: "Waku haku! Waku haku!"

Panel 3: The crew being led by the aliens past flower gardens to their village.

Narrator: "marching to their village, I saw how much they cared for, and stewarded, the lovely flowers."

Panel 4:  The aliens and the crew sitting together around a large table and enjoying a feast

Narrator: "The curious beings fascinated me... they were so happy and giving. What could we humans learn from them?  did they understand the mysteries of the universe in ways we’d not yet envisioned?  Zebos, however, had already sized them up..."

Aliens: "Waku haku! Waku haku!"

Zebos: "Psst! These aliens are so simple-minded taking all the Lithium will be easy!

Page 8 of "NOWHERE TO GO!" By Sparaboom

Panel 1:  Zebos whispering to Tuskie

Narrator: "but, the plant-based diet affected Zebos’s stomach!"

Zebos: "ug... you see a bathroom?"

Tuskie: "no... i‘d walk back to the ship."

Panel 2:  Zebos leaving table with a snooty "Bah!"

Narrator: "Zebos stepped out to locate a nearby bush!"

Panel 3:  Zebos discreetly crouched near a tree, pants down

Narrator: "He began to eliminate and dump his waste."

Panel 4:  The gas fumes start killing nearby flowers!

Narrator: "Once the gas was released, however, the nearby flowers started to shrivel and die!"

Panel 5:  The scent of the gas leaks into the village.  The aliens' noses get alerted!

Narrator: "The fumes traveled downwind and seaped into the banquet hall!"

Aliens: "Waku haku! Waku haku!"

Panel 6:  The aliens raise up in anger.  Tuskie and Dr Nez look on in terror!

Narrator: "The creatures freaked out!"

Tuskie: "Dammit, Doc! talk to them!"

Dr Nez: "I can’t! The app is still deciphering!"

Aliens: "Waku haku! Waku haku!"

Page 9 of "NOWHERE TO GO!" By Sparaboom

Panel 1: Two aliens firing death rays from their snouts at Zebos

Narrator: "The furious creatures tracked down Zebos and unleashed their nazal lazers!"

Aliens: "Waku haku! Waku haku!"

Panel 2 and 3: Zebos is hit by the death rays and immediately disintegrates into a skeleton.

Narrator: "Zebos was fried instantly!  It was horrific!"

Panel 4: Closeup of a terrified Tuskie

Tuskie: "RUN!"

Panel 5: Tuskie, Dr Nez, and Serena running from furious, pursuing aliens

Narrator: "Tuskie pushed Serena and I towards the space ship as she whipped out her prime 1 pistol!"

Page 10 of "NOWHERE TO GO!" By Sparaboom

Panel 1:  Tuskie fried by an alien death ray

Narrator: "Tuskie sacrificed herself!"

Panel 2: Close up of a horrified Dr Nez

Narrator: 

Panel 3:  Serena fried by an alien death ray

Narrator: "Serena shot her final selfie!"

Panel 4:  Dr Nez running down a hill of flowers towards the distant rocket ship

Narrator: "And I desperately ran for my life!"

Panel 5:  An angry alien in pursuit...

Narrator: "The maddened creatures, however, got closer!"

Aliens: "Waku haku! Waku haku!"

Panel 6:  Dr Nez jumps behind a bush.

Narrator: "I had to hide!"

Panel 7:  Similar to the first panel on page 1, Dr Nez is hiding behind a bush while the aliens are searching for him...

Narrator: "Now, I’m praying the smell of the flowers will shroud my scent!"

Panel 8:  Dr Nez hold his rumbling stomach.

Narrator: "Oh no! My stomach’s feeling queazy, too! "

Page 11 of "NOWHERE TO GO!" By Sparaboom

Panel 1:  Dr Nez desparately sprints towards the rocket ship, a "Poop!" sound suddenly comes from his backside.

Narrator: "I gotta go! I gotta go, now!!! I’ll get back to you once i’m safe inside the ship!"

Panel 2 and 3:  An alien senses Dr Nez's scent and fires a death ray at Dr Nez!

Alien:  "Waku Haku?  WAKU HAKU!"

Panel 4:  Dr Nez is fried by a death ray.

Panel 5:  Dr Nez's skeleton falling towards the ground...

Panel 6:  Dr Nez's skeleton lands in a pile of flowers!

Page 7:  Close up of Dr Nez's translator device held in his skeleton hand.  Text pops onto the screen

Text message: "TRANSLATION COMPLETE:  Waku Haku = "You Stink"